How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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