I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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