First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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