you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize