She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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