YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
