Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
