I just cut my nipple shaving
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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