We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
