she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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