Kiss
Puke
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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