is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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