The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
