i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
