im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
