Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
