I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
