How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
