yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
