i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize