Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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