My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
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I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
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I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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