her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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