you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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