I think my vagina is haunted
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
