Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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