so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My bed smells like the plague
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
