its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize