She is in my trunk
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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