In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
