That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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