i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize