I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
All I want is dick and wine.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
