STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
