I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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