Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
