brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
kristin has been a bad kristin
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize