We're like a lot better than the average bears
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize