did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
no you cant smoke seaweed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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