To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
