I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
