there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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