I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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