i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
