I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
