This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
