i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize