Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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