Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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