Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
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The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
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If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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