and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
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