Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Randomize
