i just google imaged poop.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
