and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
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Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
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gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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