Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
