im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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