Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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