I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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