sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize