could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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